Meet the FIST Commissioners
Kat Davis was born to be a star. Growing up she never played princess, as most little girls do; she only played queen. Having Cher as her idol at 4 years old, she began wearing pearls, he-highs and yipstick (high heels and lipstick) all before kindergarten. While she may have gotten kicked out of charm school, Brownies, ballet, gymnastics, 6th grade picture day, and patrol duty all for questioning authority, she was able to get her black belt in Karate and is a silver medalist in figure skating. Two badass qualities any commissioner should have.
Aparna Nancherla grew up on the mean cul-de-sacs of McLean, VA, home to many roving gangs of soccer moms and mailmen. She has had several run-ins with the law including a tollbooth incident when her quarter didn't fall in the bucket and when her car got drug-searched in Frederick, MD for being too awesome.
What they say goes. Read WIT's interview with the Commishes below.
Pictured below: Kat Davis (left) and Aparna Nancherla (right) in conflict resolution mode. 
WIT caught up with the Commissioners in the locker room, where they gave us some insights into their thirst for authority, and shared their advice for FIST contenders.
What are your main duties as a Commissioner?
KD: To welcome the audience, jazz 'em up, and to facilitate the brawl they are about to witness. Before you ask, I can’t explain what ‘jazz em up’ means. But it’s a talent of mine. My awkwardness can be quite charming. At times.
AN: Not to cry in front of the teams onstage.
KD: I almost cried the other day at a Kleenex commercial. And then I cried because I almost cried. And then the Jiffy Lube guy said my car was ready. My mom was embarrassed.
Your advice to this year’s teams?
KD: Have fun. I was going to say, “If you see something, say something,” but then I realized I read that on the Metro. So, that doesn’t really count. So, yeah, have fun. Be awesome. Don’t go down without a fight.
AN: Go for the throat, ladies! Oh, sorry, I was supervising martial aerobics. What was the question?
KD: I would love to take your Ninja jazzercise class.
KD: Happy Hour and a reason to get new blazers. The right blazer makes your authority pop! I'm just telling you what I heard. And by heard, I mean wrote in my diary at age 13.
AN: A truly awe-inspiring lack of self-awareness.
Who is your role model in performing your duties?
KD: A true bitchass. Anyone with swagger and a bold mouth. A love child between Kanye West and Christina Aguilera. I wear red lipstick and I’ve been known to pop my collar. The thing is, I’m a bitchass, but my mouth isn’t bold. It’s awkward. So, I’m more like Mrs. Roper. But I dream.
AN: A combination of the Geico money wad with eyes (goes unnoticed at first, but was creepily staring on the sidelines the entire time, and yet, somehow endearing) and my postman (he never fails to deliver, even when everybody else is really mailing it in).
KD: Oh! I want to be the Progressive lady. Can I get a FIST apron?
What’s the greatest outcome you can imagine to FIST?
KD: The Network News channel fight scene from Anchorman would be ideal.
AN: Everybody survives despite the imperfections of life. In the grand scheme of things, we're all lucky to be participants. Not winners, but participants. Oops, sorry again! I was crafting a nihilist manifesto. What was the question?
